oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm passing your future prison.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
