she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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