It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
