I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
