So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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