your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
