I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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