come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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