I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
