so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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