8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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