Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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