she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He passed out mid-signature
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
