This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
