remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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