Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
