She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I faked an abortion last night.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Randomize
