high people should be assigned attendants
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize