Small penises have feelings too.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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