Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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