Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
