Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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