i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
