Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
