You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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