Christians are straight up FREAKS
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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