so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
