I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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