and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
