That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
