My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
