I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
