we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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