Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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