Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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