I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
