No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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