i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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