I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
