Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
