She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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