i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
