We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
