Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
