K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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