I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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