covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
