We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
