i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
