I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This baby is an asshole
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
