she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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