I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
