I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
