Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We need to rekindle our bromance
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
