i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
