Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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