Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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