Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
