Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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