Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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