I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I understand Curling. That high.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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